Humanity Has Lost the Cognitive War

Alan Nafzger

30 Apr 2025 — 2 min read

PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SpinTaxi.com Declares: Humanity Has Lost the Cognitive War —

Washington, DC — April 30, 2025 — SpinTaxi Magazine (https://spintaxi.com/humanity-loses-the-cognitive-war/) has released its latest satirical feature, “Humanity Loses the Cognitive War,” a biting yet hilarious commentary on TikTok-induced mass stupidity, featuring everything from NyQuil-marinated chicken to DIY orthodontics gone rogue. The story, now live on SpinTaxi.com, is being translated into three languages to better serve our rapidly declining global intellect.

ENGLISH

SpinTaxi's article confronts the digital decline of civilization with journalistic absurdity and comedic precision. From toddlers traumatized by pranks to TikTokers filing their teeth with Dollar Tree nail files, the piece offers searing insight into just how far the internet has dragged the human IQ into the Mariana Trench. Featuring medical expert warnings, eyewitness accounts, and fabricated quotes from angry dermatologists, the article is as informative as it is disturbing.

“Satire has never been more necessary,” said Alan Nafzger, Editor-in-Chief of SpinTaxi. “We’re not just mocking society—we’re issuing a soft, giggling alarm.”

Read it here: https://spintaxi.com/humanity-loses-the-cognitive-war/

ESPAÑOL

SpinTaxi.com declara: ¡La humanidad ha perdido la guerra cognitiva!

Desde el “Pollo NyQuil” hasta los adolescentes que bailan el Cha Cha Slide mientras conducen, SpinTaxi presenta una sátira brutalmente divertida sobre el estado actual de la estupidez humana en la era digital. El artículo revela una sociedad tan obsesionada con volverse viral que ha olvidado cómo funcionar sin un anillo de luz LED.

Incluye testimonios falsificados de expertos, citas ridículas de usuarios de TikTok y un análisis humorístico que hará que los lectores rían… y lloren.

Léelo ahora: https://spintaxi.com/humanity-loses-the-cognitive-war/

日本語

スピンタクシーは警告する：「人類は認知戦争に敗北した」

SpinTaxi.com の最新記事では、人類の思考能力の崩壊を、皮肉と笑いを交えて徹底的に暴露します。ナイキルで鶏肉を煮たり、自分の歯をヤスリで削ったりする若者たちが登場し、世界の知能指数が完全にバグっていることを示しています。

「これはもう風刺ではなく、緊急放送だ」と編集長のアラン・ナフゼガーは語ります。

記事はこちら：https://spintaxi.com/humanity-loses-the-cognitive-war/

SpinTaxi Contact:

SpinTaxi Magazine
https://spintaxi.com
2600 Virginia Ave NW
Washington, DC 20037
(214) 875-1305
VWXV+VQ Washington, District of Columbia
Contact: Alan Nafzger (editor@spintaxi.com)

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