GrifterCon 2025: Las Vegas

GrifterCon 2025: Las Vegas Hosts the Greatest Collection of Liars Ever Assembled

By Bohiney.com Staff (Certified 127% Funnier Than The Onion)

Welcome to GrifterCon 2025: Where Lies Meet Luxury

In a world where truth is negotiable and reality is just a poorly moderated group chat, it was only a matter of time before humanity’s most underappreciated industry-grifting-got its own flagship event.

Enter GrifterCon 2025, held at the prestigious Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas, because no city better understands the spiritual connection between slot machines and snake oil.

Three days.Seventy-seven panels.Over 8,000 grifters, hucksters, fraudsters, scammers, influencers, crypto bros, MLM queens, self-help gurus, fake doctors, ghostwriters of fake memoirs, professional dating app catfishers, spiritual scammers, and at least four guys who think they invented the word “synergy.”

It was a stunning success.Mainly because no one asked for refunds…because no one could find the refund booth…because it didn’t exist.

What Happens at GrifterCon…Usually Winds Up on TikTok

Before you could even get into the event, you had to pay a $249 “mandatory authenticity fee” – cash only, no receipt.

Inside, the GrifterCon Expo Center featured booths like:

• CryptoKidz: teaching toddlers how to launch Ponzi schemes before they learn subtraction.
• Theranos Tribute Lounge: free wine samples served in Elizabeth Holmes-themed shot glasses.
• Fake Degree University: hand-signed PhDs from imaginary colleges for $50 (or $75 if you want a frame that smells like Ivy League).

Keynote speaker Billy McFarland kicked off the opening ceremony, stepping onto the stage wearing a “Fyre 2.0″ hoodie and announcing,”This time, I swear there will be sandwiches.”

What the Funny People Are Saying

“GrifterCon is basically Coachella, but for people who think ethics are for beta males.” – Ron White

“I wanted to buy a T-shirt at GrifterCon, but they only sold invisible NFTs of the T-shirts for $500.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“GrifterCon is where your Uber driver tries to sell you an MLM scheme before he even drops you off.” – Sarah Silverman

Meet the Stars of GrifterCon 2025

Anna Delvey hosted a MasterClass titled “Luxury Lies: How to Get a Penthouse You Can’t Afford.” It ended with a ceremonial unpaid bar tab.

Luigi Mangione held a workshop on how to pitch a startup so convincingly that VCs don’t notice it’s literally just a pizza cart with a Bluetooth speaker.

Sam Bankman-Fried’s Cousin (allegedly) gave a surprise session: “Crypto Isn’t Dead-It’s Just Hiding in the Caymans.”

Even a 9-year-old influencer named “Lil’ Hustla” was there, offering courses on “Monetizing Other People’s Trauma” for $799 a seat.

It was a full-service operation.Need a sob story to sell bad t-shirts? There’s a seminar for that.Need fake testimonials for your ‘revolutionary’ sleep app? Covered.Need 5,000 fake followers named “HotGirlNashville93”? No problem-cash preferred.

Public Reaction: Americans Rate GrifterCon Higher Than The Super Bowl

According to a flash survey by Pew Research:

• 73% of attendees said GrifterCon was “the most inspiring event of my life.”
• 81% said they learned at least three new ways to lie without blinking.
• 67% said they had “already sold a course about attending GrifterCon” before even leaving the venue.

One attendee, decked out in Gucci knockoffs and genuine counterfeit Yeezys, gushed:”It’s so refreshing to be among my people. No judgment, just dreams…and fake bank statements.”

How GrifterCon Helped the Las Vegas Economy

City officials declared GrifterCon an economic success, bringing in an estimated $84 million-although $79 million of that came from inflated room service charges like:

• $112 for “artisanal ice cubes”
• $79 for “inspirational air” pumped into the hotel gym
• $400 for a “VIP Non-Existent View” upgrade

Local businesses embraced the spirit. Casinos ran side bets on how many scams could happen per minute. Taxi drivers offered “authentic crypto wallet tours” where you saw nothing but paid $199.

One Uber driver, Tony “T-Bone” Valenzuela, told reporters,”I made more in fake surcharges this weekend than I made driving all of 2024. God bless America.”

Personal Stories: Triumphs of the Unethical Spirit

• Veronica, 26: Sold fake luxury handbags in the lobby using only a smile and a broken iPad.”I cleared $18,000 before noon and only got chased by security twice!”
• Jaxson, 32: Created a fake dating app promising soulmates for $99. His “app” was literally just a chatbot that texted “U up?” every night at 2 AM.”Three lawsuits pending, but also 200 matches!”
• Delilah, 44: Signed up 15 people for a nonexistent meditation retreat.”I feel so spiritually fulfilled now that I have $37,000 in deposits and no overhead.”

Expert Testimony: The Future Belongs to the Fraudulent

Dr. Cassie Winger, Professor of Applied Chicanery at Stanford’s new School of Opportunistic Studies, remarked:”We’re witnessing the professionalization of deception. In 2030, résumés will just be vibe checks. Interviews will be replaced with Instagram Reels.”

She predicted that future GrifterCons will be even bigger, possibly merging with CES to form:GriCES – The Consumer Electronics and Lies Expo.

Trace Evidence: Milestones in American Grifting

• 1800s: Snake oil salesmen sweep the frontier.
• 1920s: Ponzi schemes invent themselves.
• 1970s: Pyramid schemes replace family trees at Thanksgiving.
• 2025: GrifterCon becomes the first event bigger than Coachella and Comic-Con combined.

Dr. Linda Zukowski, returning for commentary, said,”Grifting is no longer subculture. It’s mainstream. It’s the logical conclusion of late-stage capitalism plus bad Wi-Fi.”

Cause and Effect: Why Grifting Became the New American Dream

It’s simple:

• Hard work = exhausting.
• Talent = rare.
• Honesty = boring.

But a well-timed fake motivational quote posted over a sunset background?That = six-figure passive income.

According to a new Gallup poll, 62% of Americans under 35 would “strongly consider” launching a grift “if it came with a decent branding package and pre-written inspirational tweets.”

Analogies That Stab You Right in the Soul

• GrifterCon is to business conferences what Taco Bell is to Michelin dining.
• Billy McFarland is to ethics what Chernobyl is to green energy.
• Buying a GrifterCon VIP pass is like paying extra to lose your wallet faster.

Diversity and Inclusion: Fraud for All!

GrifterCon made sure to showcase an array of fraudsters:

• Women in Wellness Grifting
• BIPOC Crypto Influencer Panels
• LGBTQIA+ Multi-Level Marketing Meetups

Fraud is finally intersectional.

One proud attendee remarked,”No matter your race, gender, or pronouns, anyone can sell imaginary vitamins to desperate moms. Representation matters!”

Validation: The Awards Ceremony

GrifterCon’s closing ceremony included the highly prestigious:

• Golden Ponzi Award (Best Overall Scam)
• Silver Pyramid Award (Best Multilevel Marketing Hustle)
• Bronze Shady Award (Best Disappearing Act)

Billy McFarland graciously accepted the Lifetime Grift Achievement Award while crying into a sponsored Fiji water bottle.

Anna Delvey lost “Best Social Climber” only because she demanded a real trophy and then refused to pay the shipping fee.

Actionable Advice: How You Too Can Grift Like a Pro

• Always wear expensive-looking shoes.
• Never explain too much. Confidence > Coherence.
• If you get caught, immediately start a podcast called “Lessons Learned.”
• Never apologize-pivot!

Workshop bonus tip: Crying on camera increases crowdfunding success by 64%, according to Dr. Fizzle’s behavioral grift study.

Growth Mindset: Scamming as Self-Improvement

Each failed con is not a mistake. It’s a pivot.Each lawsuit is not a defeat. It’s a networking opportunity.

GrifterCon taught the fundamental life truth: You’re only ever one bankruptcy away from a memoir deal.

Attendees were encouraged to “fail upward” and “manifest scams so audacious the universe just accepts them.”

Nigerian Grifters Book Out Vegas’ Ebony Sands Resort & Casino for GriftCon 2025

In a move hailed as “both historic and deeply ironic,” a delegation of Nigerian princes, lottery winners, and urgent-email specialists has officially booked out the most African American-owned hotel in Las Vegas for GriftCon 2025.

The Ebony Sands Resort & Casino, famous for hosting NAACP galas and Juneteenth celebrations, was reportedly “enthusiastically hijacked” after receiving an email that began:
“Greetings! You have been chosen to host destiny and generational wealth!”

Management, assuming it was just another Democratic fundraiser, immediately clicked “Accept.” Contracts were signed. Deposits were wired—from offshore accounts—complete with promises of “investment opportunities beyond imagination.”

By the time they realized the guests were the global grifting elite — complete with satin sashes reading “#1 Email Warrior” — it was too late.

Eyewitnesses say the lobby is now filled with tables selling fake Bitcoin, love potions, and investment schemes called “Future Ice Money.”

Said one hotel employee, “Honestly, I’m not even mad. These dudes paid in advance…in crypto, in cash, and in motivational speeches about abundance.”

One Nigerian organizer, Prince Obi (real title: unclear), stated,
“America taught the world to hustle. We simply took notes, made PowerPoints, and emailed them back to you.”

GriftCon officials praised the partnership as “the perfect symbol of cross-cultural grifting excellence,” promising to add a seminar called “Emails That Launch Empires” to the GriftCon 2025 schedule.

Conclusion: GrifterCon Is America’s Truest Celebration

Forget Super Bowls. Forget State Fairs.GrifterCon is the soul of the 21st century.

We don’t admire courage anymore.We admire chutzpah.We don’t reward sacrifice.We reward spin.

In America today, you’re not a fraud if you can convince enough people you’re a founder.

And if you fail?Just throw a TikTok apology tour.Billy McFarland already has a coupon code.

Auf Wiedersehen!

Disclaimer

This story is a proud collaboration between two real humans – a cowboy and a farmer – using nothing but pure wit, old-fashioned cynicism, and several mugs of bad coffee. No AI grifting was involved, though several ChatGPT clones did attempt to charge us $9.99 for advice we already knew.

Here’s What Is Scheduled for GrifterCon 2025…

• The Wi-Fi password at GrifterCon will be sold separately – $150 per device – because nothing says “networking” like literal extortion.
• There will be a “VIP Platinum Lounge” experience. It’s just a janitor’s closet with a free copy of Rich Dad, Poor Dad duct-taped to the wall.
• The conference badges will be NFTs, but they’ll vanish from your crypto wallet two hours after check-in – for “environmental reasons.”
• A dating app exclusively for grifters, “Tinderbox,” will launch during the weekend. Motto: “Find someone who scams as hard as you do.”
• Keynote speaker Elizabeth Holmes (appearing via hologram from prison) will explain how to fake a blood test and a brand identity simultaneously.
• The welcome bags will contain expired Groupon coupons, a knockoff Rolex, and an inspirational quote that’s just “LIE BIGGER” in Comic Sans.
• An investment booth called “MarsCoin: The First Interplanetary Ponzi” will offer lifetime returns once Elon Musk colonizes Alpha Centauri.
• Every panel moderator will disappear halfway through their session – having sold the moderator chair on eBay for “exclusive memorabilia value.”
• Sam Bankman-Fried will teach a MasterClass titled: “How to Lose $8 Billion Without Losing Your Vape.”
• The closing ceremony will feature a standing ovation for Sam Bankman-Fried… led by influencers livestreaming it on platforms they themselves embezzled to fund.
• A panel titled “Gaslighting 101” will be canceled after organizers insist it was “never scheduled” in the first place.
• At least five pyramid schemes will be launched before lunch on Day 1, and three class-action lawsuits will be filed before dinner.
• The GrifterCon “Hall of Fame Inductees” will be decided by auction – whoever bribes the most wins – and the winners will be escorted out by casino security… proudly.
• Anna Delvey will host a $999 “Art of the Grift” brunch where attendees pay to sit on folding chairs inside an empty storage unit.
• Tony Robbins will make a surprise appearance, offering a $5,000 “Inner Grifter Awakening” seminar where the first lesson is “never pay $5,000 for advice.”

BOHINEY MAGAZINE – A wide, chaotic, colorful Toni Bohiney-style cartoon. Inside a huge convention center packed with booths like ‘Masterclass How to Lie and Get a Streamin… – Grifter Convention

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The Glamour of Grift 

By Alan Nafzger

Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin's Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. Contact: nafzger@bohiney.com